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ASTROLIQUOR for August 24-30—What the stars say you should drink!
My Fellow Inebriates, Here’s your booze horoscope: Aries, you have so much confidence in your own mojo that you often wait for others to email or phone you. Take the initiative this week and call...
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ASTROLIQUOR for September 21-27—What the stars say you should drink!
My Fellow Inebriates, Here’s your booze horoscope: Aries, for a change your ideas are in sync with those of your colleagues. This is an excellent time to boss them around. It’s also a good time to...
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ASTROLIQUOR for Dec. 14-20—What the stars say you should drink!
My Fellow Inebriates, Here’s your booze horoscope: Aries, no more griping about lack of attention—all eyes are on you this week. You’ll meet tons of new friends, all of whom you’ll wear out within the...
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ASTROLIQUOR for January 18-24
My Fellow Inebriates, The stars are still being dickheaded, which means you all get an abbreviated reading again, just like last week, only this week we don’t even have a proper theme, people. Yes,...
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ASTROLIQUOR for January 25-31
My Fellow Inebriates, Once again, because my typist is fucking me over of a curious confluence of star clusters, nebulae, and other drivel, you get an abbreviated reading consolidating the star signs...
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ASTROLIQUOR for February 22 to March 1, already in progress
My Fellow Inebriates, You’ve been operating three days now without a booze horoscope and, while I would never say you’re drinking the wrong beverages, the stars are assholish and would rather you did...
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ASTROLIQUOR for March 8-14—What the stars say you should drink!
My Fellow Inebriates, Here’s your booze horoscope: Aries, it’s time to mend a relationship. The conflict started out small, but then you were a dickhead and exaggerated the situation. Now you need to...
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ASTROLIQUOR for April 26 to May 3, already in progress—What the stars say you...
My Fellow Inebriates, Once again the horoscope hasn’t come together on time, leaving you on your own to decide what to drink this week. Are you okay so far? (I bet you are.) Aries, you’ve recovered...
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ASTROLIQUOR for May 3-6—What the stars say you should drink!
My Fellow Inebriates, I won’t be able to sleep if the horoscope is late one more time. Just thinking of you all embarking on your weekends without astrological booze guidance…OMG. Aries, whatever your...
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ASTROLIQUOR for May 17–23, already in progress!
Okay, MFI, your Booze Horoscope has gone totally off the rails. I pleaded with my typist to dump the paid work in favor of this, your guide to the week’s alcohol consumption. But you try reasoning with...
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